Can Someone Please Edit My Essay for Social Work? I Would Prefer Someone That Has an MSW?

Question by changing everyday: Can someone please edit my essay for Social Work? I would prefer someone that has an MSW?
I am applying to the Master’s in Social Work program because I want to help others maximize their potential and steer their lives in a positive direction. I am concerned with the needs of everyone in my community and I am passionate about helping our most vulnerable individuals; specifically our troubled and neglected youth. I want to become a social worker so I can empower these individuals to help them overcome their problems and change their lives for the better.

I am a thirty-four year old woman who has overcome a period of homelessness in my life. When I was homeless, having an advocate and mentor helped me connect with employment services. But first I needed someone to meet me where I was and treat me with dignity.

I had a mentor that taught and guided me in my life. The impact that she had on my life inspired me to want to help others. I want to use the knowledge and understanding I have gained to assist people in changing their lives. I believe education is the key to being able to do that. Specifically, a Master’s degree in Social Work would put me in the greatest position for achieving my goal. A social worker on Skid Row in Los Angeles started me on the path toward healing my own life. She provided me with constant support and a sense of hope. Six months later, I found a job as a youth counselor at Harbor View Adolescent Center, a residential treatment center, working with adolescents who had behavioral and emotional problems. I believe that Social Work is the professional track that is the best match for my being able to make a positive difference in the lives of adolescents.

In my job as a youth counselor, my primary work responsibility was to serve as a positive role model for adolescents aged twelve to eighteen. The residents had encountered issues such as homelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, and criminal justice system. At times, my job was extremely stressful. But I discovered that I had the ability to connect with the adolescents and develop strong emotional ties with them. I focused on helping them with their social skills, coping skills, and independent living skills. My main goal was to help them build their self-esteem and improve their sense of security.

There were many times that these adolescents would exhibit dangerous behavior. Often times the adolescents would self-harm themselves. I would get stuck in knowing what the best clinical approach to use when a child is self-harming. I would like to have better tools for helping these kids when they are in crisis, and whether those interventions are well supported by literature.

The guiding principle of my life is that each of us has a duty to help and serve others, to seek out marginalized and less fortunate individuals of our communities and offer any aid that we can. I have always lived by the motto “do unto others as you would have done to you”, and feel that the best way to do this is by furthering the ideal of social justice in the way I live and work. Social justice, as I see it, is the value system that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of every human being and the right of everyone to be treated fairly and with respect. I believe that every individual is worthy of dignity and respect and each individual has the ability to become self-sufficient and able to make the best possible decisions for themselves. When we as a society try to see the world through the eyes of the less fortunate, we can empathize with and understand one another instead of focusing on our differences. Only when each and every individual of a community is afforded the same level of dignity and respect can a society truly be called civilized. Those who cannot demand social justice for themselves must have a voice to demand it for them. It is my hope that by earning a Master‘s degree in Social Work I can be that voice.

Best answer:

Answer by robertminidriver
I think that your essay is excellent. There are a few grammatical issues and some discontinuity between your life story narrative and your thoughts about social work in general. But, to me, I wouldn’t change it. Your narrative had a warmness and genuineness about it that might be disrupted by over emphasis on perfect grammar and thought spacing.

I would suggest that you think about adding a story about how you personally helped a specific child with a specific problem while you were a youth counselor. That specificity should give the essay a little more texture and meaning.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Experts Sound Warning Over 'Very Dangerous' Drug Being Marketed To Young …

Filed under: Drug Treatment Centers Los Angeles

… Los Angeles believe it's likely responsible for the death of actor Johnny Lewis, who allegedly killed his landlady before falling to his death off a building. Psychologist and addiction recovery expert Dr. Harris Stratyner, of the Caron Treatment …
Read more on CBS Local

Targeted Medical Commences Public Trading of Its Securities

Filed under: Drug Treatment Centers Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES–(BUSINESS WIRE)– Targeted Medical Pharma, Inc., a specialty pharmaceutical company that develops and distributes prescription medical foods to physicians, pharmacies and skilled nursing facilities, today announced that effective today …
Read more on DailyFinance